Obsessions

Ok so I thought I would be able to maintain this blog without seeping into my obsessions, but it wouldn't be me if we didn't go that route so here goes nothing. My name is Carolyn and I am a shoe-a-holic. There it feels a little better now that I got it out. That picture right there is a very small piece of the puzzle. Heels, wedges, flats, flip flops, boots I've got em all. And I can't stop buying them. I tend to look at it as a collection, at least that's what I keep telling myself. I like to look at what people collect because I think it says something about them. I haven't quite figured out what the shoes say about me yet. I'm kind of scared to be honest. Fashion is a big thing to me and I take it kind of seriously, some would say too seriously but to me it's important. I don't think it makes me shallow, I don't think it makes me stupid. I look at it as another way to create. Sometimes I can't share things with the people around me so I'm opening up to a virtual audience who I'm not even sure exists, but for me its easier this way. So let me have my quirks and I won't tell anyone about yours either, deal? Everyone obsesses about something, sometimes its healthy sometimes not so much. I like to think about things like this, it fascinates me. I can think about so many things in a single day its hard to make my brain stop. I think thats why it is so hard for me to find one single career. I finally settled into something because I realized I can do something for a living and have outside interests as well. When I was in college I felt so trapped. I felt bound to what I was studying. I felt as if I couldn't go into any other subjects or any other areas because I was on this path. This path that would lead me somewhere, to something. But no one ever told me exactly what that something was and that scared me. It didn't really scare me at first, but as I kept going I felt more scared and more uncertain. I thought I was supposed to feel more confident and more assured of my future as I went on, but the opposite happened. It's like I was a train on a path and I couldn't stop to see any of the sights along the way. Papers and exams and tests and research projects, I did them all and I did really well. But that train didn't know its destination and I got scared and I crashed. I'm kinda glad I did. Sometimes I wish I had kept on going but if I did I think I would be miserable. I've always known what's been right for me and sometimes I've taken the wrong path, but I've always gotten myself out of it. So I have a few obsessions, who doesn't? On an end note, nobody ever said trial and error was easy

-C