Dealing Versus Coping .......What's The Bigger Deal?

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Yesterday I wrote about coping techniques, i.e. my ever growing shoe collection. The latest addition to to the collection that threatens to take over my bedrom was a pair of jellies that cost me $2.50 at Target. There really is no relevance to me talking about jellies I'm just a tad bit curious if anyone else remembers them. Before I begin to ramble I am going to cut myself off and get to the point of my post, coping versus dealing or are they the same thing? Have I hit a good point yet?
You can cope with something in numerous ways, for me I shop or I cut my hair or dye it or in an extreme case of insanity I wind up with a tattoo or piercing because some guy that I was in love with has broken up with me and I feel it is necessary to mark something on my body, I make no claims to be normal. But how do we deal with things? I'm leaning towards the fact that coping and dealing are not the same.
In the matter of failed relationships coping seems to be the first step. Now ice cream and tequila come in handy at this stage, well not together of course. Then there is the infamous obligatory three am drunken text messaging session which usually follows the tequila. If you're lucky enough you have a best friend to pry the phone out of your feeble little hands. This is what I call coping, you can't deal with it so you cover it up with anything and everything possible, including that guys tongue that you just met at that sleazy bar Tuesday night.
Dealing, well that's different. I'm not real good with dealing cause dealing hurts much more. Coping is easy it's like putting a band aid on and forgetting about it, dealing is like ripping off he band aid and exposing that wound. Dealing is crying in the middle of the night when you realize there's no point in calling or texting anymore, when you realize that you are alone, that you're not going to get back together with this person, that you have to start over and most importantly that you're going to be ok.
I feel like I lost my point somewhere. I'm trying to understand the difference between dealing and coping myself and its not always easy. But I think its important.I hope I could shine some light on this topic for anyone else. Feedback would always be helpful.
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Ok, so I lied, again.....

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Yes, I know I said I would post yesterday. Now this probably doesn't mean a great deal to anyone else but me, but I guess I'm a bit sensitive. I feel the need to focus on my obsessions again which could be good or bad depending on how you look at it. Notice once again I'm showing a picture of a shoe. Well this time I have a point. I buy shoes for a reason, other than the obvious. I guess shopping has become my therapy, especially lately.
I've wound up with so many pairs of shoes simply because shopping eases my discomfort or pain when I can't cope with life. In a way it's probably healthier than a lot of addictions, but it's beginning to become rather costly. But what am I to do. Thing's just aren't turning out the way I expected and in turn I'm going broke.
I'm listening to the Greg Behrendt show as I write this and they are talking about how men and women communicate and it got me thinking about more than shoes. It got me thinking about how it can be so easy to break a relationship and so hard to make one. On top of that who's fault is it really, it's easy to place blame on one person and it's easy to take the blame but I don't know if that's really fair.
I'm exhausted over the whole process of trying to make a relationship work and I wonder if it's worth it. How long does a person try for before they give up, and how much can one person take? When it starts to become a personal attack against you is that too much to take? What are the boundaries, I really don't know. I feel as if I am being told I am the problem but still I feel hurt. On top of it I don't even know how to fight back, I want to know if other people have felt this way or if this is something exclusive to me, something tells me it's not. Confusion, I just don't understand anything at this point and somehow shoe shopping is helping me cope. I wish I could help someone else and be useful but I'm afraid I can't even help myself at this point.
Is communication that difficult, is there some sort of male/female barrier that makes it impossible? Or am I just stuck and don't know where to go? I hope I am making some sense. Thank you to anyone that reads this, I'm off to hopefully have a peaceful day. Take care everyone! Read more! Read more!

To Love Or Be Loved? We Really Should Do Away With Such Questions

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I realized that over the last week or so I've begun to come full circle on the relationship wheel. It's as if I've crashed and burned and then crashed and burned again and now I'm at point A again. So now the logical part of me realizes maybe that isn't quite full circle. I would like to believe it is though, I would like to believe I have something to offer the world in terms of relationship advice but I'm afraid I probably don't. I realize that I'm just twenty three years old and I don't know all that much about life or love or anything of the sort, but there are things I do know.
I traveled to England and France when I was eighteen and I was first introduced to the Love Is... comics in Paris's equivalent to the Subway. Touched by their simplicity and their honesty I took something out of that experience and it's stayed with me ever since.
Once again I really feel as if I don't know where to step and where to fall. At time I have felt so worldly and so on cue with the things going on around me. Then there are those times when that person or that thing can just knock the wind out of you and everything is out of place.
I think my point here is I don't know what love is, I don't know what its boundaries are, I don't know what it accepts, I don't know what it rejects. I don't know what it looks like and sometimes I'm not sure what it feels like. I know it's often hard to even say you love someone but sometimes I'm not even sure about that. Sometimes I wonder what the weight of our words are and what they carry. I just plain wonder.
It can be so easy to fall in love and often times harder to fall out of love. It's often times harder to talk about these things. I just wish there was an easy answer for a complicated thing, but that would be too easy. Besides I don't like things that are easy anyways. I think I'm running out of steam so I should end this. If you need a little reminder about the simplicity of love check out the Love Is page it puts a lot back into perspective.
Love Is...
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What Do You Do When Someone Leaves You A Have A Nice Life Note On Your Bedroom Floor?

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I awoke to one such note and unanswered phone calls so what did I do, simple I made a slide show click here for it, sorry for the lack of content today simply not in the mood.

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How I can Relate My Love Life To Shoes and Other Myths They Taught Me In College

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I'm really having a blast with these images of cartoon women, ok having a blast would be a highly overrated term there. I think I'm using them as therapy. I'm not sure if it's an ineffective method or not, I'll let you know in four to six weeks. It's about one thirty in the morning and I couldn't be more awake if I had drank three pots of coffee and drank a diet rockstar. Maybe it's time for some thoughts life isn't getting any easier the older I get. I'm struggling to write this because I don't even know if anyone really wants to read this anyways so here goes nothing.
Relationships, there's a metaphor coming, hang on. They're kind of like me and shoes. I've lost shoes, I've loved shoes, I've craved shoes, I've bought shoes, I've sold shoes, I've thrown out shoes, I've dressed up shoes for special occasions, I've even lied about where shoes came from and where they've been.
Then there's that one pair of shoes that's special, but they're kind of old and worn and they've been around a long time and you forget to take care of them and you forget to wear them and you just plain don't really pay that much attention to them. I'm sure the obvious is becoming painfully clear at this point.
But there's little you can do and you just have to wait and be patient and that's what hurts and thats why you are up at 1:30 in the morning writing a blog entry that no one is reading but you and you can only hope for the best. Shoes, yeah, its all about the shoes..... Read more! Read more!

The Loudest Silence

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Lackluster adj.lacking luster, brightness, or vitality, I think I could describe myself as that right about now. I woke up early this morning, earlier that usual. I woke up before the alarm clock went off which is out of character for me. So I did the unthinkable, I walked around my apartment, sipped on some tea and went back to bed.
The story goes like this. I slept, slept more than I ever thought I could after the series of events that played out last night. After the series of events that keep running through my head. The series of events that keep playing like some sort of film reel that I cannot shut off. I woke again to the alarm clock buzzing in my ear like a screaming reminder that I still exist. I do still exist but not in the same way as I did before.
Now I'm stumbling through a world I am unfamiliar with. The noises are the same, I can hear the radio buzzing in the background. The obnoxious sound of MTV still plays on my television set at volume that both comforts and upsets me. I can hear the jingle of my cats bells as the chase each other around and around and I hear the deafening silence of a phone that does not ring.
I drag myself through my routine pushing myself through the motions. My fingers do not want to move then again neither do my legs. The overwhelming feeling of guilt and sorrow crush me and I am left alone with a day filled with the comfort of strangers. How many times can I stumble and fall is the question on my mind. Read more! Read more!