In All Attempts To Keep Things In Running Order

I really don't even want to write right now, but I feel an obligation to do so. I promised myself that I would not neglect this blog as I have done so with others in the past. Regardless of whether people read this or not it is important to me that I keep writing on here, so write I will. I go to great lengths to not go on and on about my personal relationships and not to delve into boring details but its almost as if I need to open up so here goes nothing. I've been rather abstract the last two weeks or so in my posts as I've tried to write about my relationship and how it's been suffering. I've tried to turn it into advice that may been useful to others. I've tried very hard to turn my pain into something that anyone reading it could possibly benefit from. Maybe because I first of all am private about my own life and second of all because I don't like to dwell on things and I like to try to find a use for everything. Right now though I am so overwhelmed that I can't help but bare my soul. I entered into this relationship almost a year ago with absolutely no expectations whatsoever, I was purely along for the ride. I had been hurt so bad in my last relationship that I never ever thought I could be happy with any guy ever again, but I was wrong. I soon found myself so happy and so in love I could barely believe it. It was like my world had changed. Little did I know it wouldn't last and so here I am sitting here absolutely heart broken that we can't seem to make this work and worse yet that he seems to see me as the main cause. I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe I'm hoping that seeing it on the screen will make it more real and I can accept it. I feel so alone and so lost. I just needed to post something and this is all I can think about. I'm sorry that I don't have anything better to say but I didn't want to not leave anything, me writing something is very important to me even if it's trivial. So thanks to anyone who actually read all this.