Are Diamond's Really A Girls Best Friend, Only When She's Not The One Losing Her Hand Over It

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I went to an art fair yesterday and I was slightly disappointed. It was the Old Town Art fair in Chicago and I have been going for about six or seven years now. Although this year it was extremely different from all the other years I have been there and I was slightly disappointed. There was lots of expensive art that I could just not get into. I bring this up because the picture on my post is obviously someone's artistic version of a diamond. I have mixed feelings about it. (via highkick)

Diamond's conjure up all sorts of different feelings. The first most obvious feeling I can associate with a diamond is the engagement ring. Most girls wait forever to receive this coveted prize. The bigger the better, at least that's how I think it goes since I haven't put much thought into it. Ok that's a total and blatant lie. I have pictures in my drawer of what I want mine to look like although the prospects of me getting engaged and married are extremely slim to none at this point in time.
The social meaning behind a diamond is very apparent after all a diamond is forever right? Well not in this day and age, what does a diamond really mean anyways? Plus now women are buying their own "right hand" rings taking the association of a diamond away.
Then there's the dark side of the diamond industry. This put chills down my spine when I learned of it. I don't really completely understand everything so I don't want to open my mouth about things I don't completely understand but all I know is that there are people being murdered and abused and all sorts of horrible things under the rule of horrible people all so that we can have our diamonds, something seems right about that to me. No, not seems, I know something is wrong about that.
It makes me not want to promote that industry at all. Yet there's still the allure, it's as if I am so attracted to the bling of a diamond yet I know how corrupt the industry is and how I want to turn a blind eye but I know I can't. Sometimes I wish I was born without a conscience, maybe that's not exactly how I should word it or what exactly I mean but I think anyone reading this would know exactly what I meant by that.
What do you do when you know that horrible things are going on but they are so far out of your grasp that you really cannot do anything to stop them? Do you turn a blind eye, do you walk the other way? It's almost like how do you choose your battles, where do you fight and where do you sit on the sidelines? There's tough questions out there and they don't get easier as you get older I'm learning.
Well those "diamonds" are nice, in a metal kind of way! Maybe I'll stick to those and I don't have to feel any guilt about them. Decisions get tougher and tougher. I don't think I have any answers for anything right now. I just have to keep on letting my brain run and keep on going. That's my thoughts for now. Hopefully I got someone thinking about something. Read more! Read more!

My Good Mood Sunday Morning Sing Along

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It's a beautiful Sunday morning here in Chicago and I wanted to pass on my good mood to everyone, hope you are having a good day!

Happy Sunday Everyone!

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Where Exactly is the Focus?

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As if my mind isn't running on overdrive enough as it is already I am finding my writing has becoming more and more cluttered. I can't seem to find a focus here and my efforts to keep on a topic of interest are becoming less than triumphant. I don't care to write about Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan and I really could care less if they spend the rest of their lives behind bars. I don't want to delve any more into my own personal life but it's as my mind cannot seem to find anything to write of or speak of lately. I'm sure there are some topics out there that interest me but it seems as if I am writing about what I cannot write about which seems horribly boring and mundane. I've really begun to consider if that is just a reflection of my personality. I wonder if I could write sweeping editorials that would wow people, amazing stories about social injustice and political debate but the truth is I can't bring myself to care. The closest I came was my personal account about the homeless man and the wine sampling. For some reason that struck a nerve with me and I was able to be passionate about that. For everything else I seem to lack enthusiasm and truth be told that frightens me, not just a little but a lot, in fact a great big deal. It even keeps me up at night. I've dreamed of being a writer, of having an advice column of writing articles on relationships and being knowledgeable but it seems I can't even seem to find my way on a simple blog. I've been told over and over how well I write but it seems to be that I have fallen into an enormous case of writers block and I cannot seem to dig my way out of it, except to complain like I am doing now. My biggest fear is that I am just plain uninteresting. I want to write things that people find interesting and helpful and can connect with and I just don't see how me talking about my life is at all helpful. So I complain, again, and again and again. Maybe this is some sort of growing experience and I am just not seeing it right now, hopefully that is the case. Any feedback, anybody??? Read more! Read more!

In All Attempts To Keep Things In Running Order

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I really don't even want to write right now, but I feel an obligation to do so. I promised myself that I would not neglect this blog as I have done so with others in the past. Regardless of whether people read this or not it is important to me that I keep writing on here, so write I will. I go to great lengths to not go on and on about my personal relationships and not to delve into boring details but its almost as if I need to open up so here goes nothing. I've been rather abstract the last two weeks or so in my posts as I've tried to write about my relationship and how it's been suffering. I've tried to turn it into advice that may been useful to others. I've tried very hard to turn my pain into something that anyone reading it could possibly benefit from. Maybe because I first of all am private about my own life and second of all because I don't like to dwell on things and I like to try to find a use for everything. Right now though I am so overwhelmed that I can't help but bare my soul. I entered into this relationship almost a year ago with absolutely no expectations whatsoever, I was purely along for the ride. I had been hurt so bad in my last relationship that I never ever thought I could be happy with any guy ever again, but I was wrong. I soon found myself so happy and so in love I could barely believe it. It was like my world had changed. Little did I know it wouldn't last and so here I am sitting here absolutely heart broken that we can't seem to make this work and worse yet that he seems to see me as the main cause. I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe I'm hoping that seeing it on the screen will make it more real and I can accept it. I feel so alone and so lost. I just needed to post something and this is all I can think about. I'm sorry that I don't have anything better to say but I didn't want to not leave anything, me writing something is very important to me even if it's trivial. So thanks to anyone who actually read all this. Read more! Read more!

The Bases Are Loaded, I'm on Third Headed for Home In A Game I Didn't Really Wan't To Play

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Batter up, it's summer and baseball's in full swing and apparently so am I. But I've somehow signed up for games I don't want to play. Yep, that's right somehow I'm standing on third with the bases loaded and the pitcher's about to throw the ball. What choice to I have but to run and slide into home? I don't want to do it, I never wanted to play this game anyway, but I did. So like any ball player I'm gonna suck it up and play. Headed straight for that plate, headfirst into the dirt and hopefully I'll come up ok.
If this metaphor is leaving you confused don't worry I'm just as confused and trying to ease my mind. I've never actually slid into home plate but I think I'm about to and no I am not making a sexual reference in any way shape or form, that would be so much easier to explain.
I'm trapped just as if I were on third base and had no where to run but home, except its not my home and not my situation and not my problem. I feel as if my life has swung in a direction I can't control and all I can do is hold on and hope it ends up alright. And run, run for home even though I don't want to, but I guess I have to because sometimes we sign up for things that we didn't expect and the end results are different and now here we are sliding headfirst into the unknown. Will we be safe or will we be out? Will we win the game or will we go home second place? Where am I going? I can't stand on third forever and that pitcher is getting ready to throw and that batter is going to hit that ball and I have to run, because if I don't, well then, I suppose everyone else would just crash into me. You can't stand still, we move in life for a reason and that's what I have to do. If my baseball metaphor seems a bit scattered excuse me I'm running on lack of sleep and food and I've seen too many Cubs games and scores lately and everything is running together. Strike one, there won't be a strike two, I'm going to play now. Read more! Read more!

The River Does Run Wild Apparently Or So I Think.....

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Ok, I survived the outdoors. As if anyone was concerned that I really wouldn't make it. Here I go back into that valley girl tone again, I'm really trying to cut that out, really I am. It's worse than smoking or so I hear. Eight miles, one canoe and two kayaks and the process of me falling into the river three times I managed to come up, well soaking wet. I really don't think water sports are my thing. Or sports in general. But I tried it and thats what matters, right, right? Someone agree with me. Ok anyways, I'm home and I'm tan and I'm happy. Very tired but happy and I'm going to go on and write about something interesting now. Read more! Read more!

To Love Or Be Loved? We Really Should Do Away With Such Questions

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I realized that over the last week or so I've begun to come full circle on the relationship wheel. It's as if I've crashed and burned and then crashed and burned again and now I'm at point A again. So now the logical part of me realizes maybe that isn't quite full circle. I would like to believe it is though, I would like to believe I have something to offer the world in terms of relationship advice but I'm afraid I probably don't. I realize that I'm just twenty three years old and I don't know all that much about life or love or anything of the sort, but there are things I do know.
I traveled to England and France when I was eighteen and I was first introduced to the Love Is... comics in Paris's equivalent to the Subway. Touched by their simplicity and their honesty I took something out of that experience and it's stayed with me ever since.
Once again I really feel as if I don't know where to step and where to fall. At time I have felt so worldly and so on cue with the things going on around me. Then there are those times when that person or that thing can just knock the wind out of you and everything is out of place.
I think my point here is I don't know what love is, I don't know what its boundaries are, I don't know what it accepts, I don't know what it rejects. I don't know what it looks like and sometimes I'm not sure what it feels like. I know it's often hard to even say you love someone but sometimes I'm not even sure about that. Sometimes I wonder what the weight of our words are and what they carry. I just plain wonder.
It can be so easy to fall in love and often times harder to fall out of love. It's often times harder to talk about these things. I just wish there was an easy answer for a complicated thing, but that would be too easy. Besides I don't like things that are easy anyways. I think I'm running out of steam so I should end this. If you need a little reminder about the simplicity of love check out the Love Is page it puts a lot back into perspective.
Love Is...
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