Ok, so I lied, again.....

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Yes, I know I said I would post yesterday. Now this probably doesn't mean a great deal to anyone else but me, but I guess I'm a bit sensitive. I feel the need to focus on my obsessions again which could be good or bad depending on how you look at it. Notice once again I'm showing a picture of a shoe. Well this time I have a point. I buy shoes for a reason, other than the obvious. I guess shopping has become my therapy, especially lately.
I've wound up with so many pairs of shoes simply because shopping eases my discomfort or pain when I can't cope with life. In a way it's probably healthier than a lot of addictions, but it's beginning to become rather costly. But what am I to do. Thing's just aren't turning out the way I expected and in turn I'm going broke.
I'm listening to the Greg Behrendt show as I write this and they are talking about how men and women communicate and it got me thinking about more than shoes. It got me thinking about how it can be so easy to break a relationship and so hard to make one. On top of that who's fault is it really, it's easy to place blame on one person and it's easy to take the blame but I don't know if that's really fair.
I'm exhausted over the whole process of trying to make a relationship work and I wonder if it's worth it. How long does a person try for before they give up, and how much can one person take? When it starts to become a personal attack against you is that too much to take? What are the boundaries, I really don't know. I feel as if I am being told I am the problem but still I feel hurt. On top of it I don't even know how to fight back, I want to know if other people have felt this way or if this is something exclusive to me, something tells me it's not. Confusion, I just don't understand anything at this point and somehow shoe shopping is helping me cope. I wish I could help someone else and be useful but I'm afraid I can't even help myself at this point.
Is communication that difficult, is there some sort of male/female barrier that makes it impossible? Or am I just stuck and don't know where to go? I hope I am making some sense. Thank you to anyone that reads this, I'm off to hopefully have a peaceful day. Take care everyone! Read more! Read more!

Round Three....

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I took a bit of a hiatus, or something of the sort. I guess the obvious answer would be I got a bit busy and slacked a bit on the blog posting but this is my official "I'm back" post. I promise more content later in the day as soon as I figure out just what that content will be until then anyone reading this is left with, well, just this. I will be back. Read more! Read more!

I'll Be Your Good Luck Charm, Well Maybe Not Me But These Will

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I could use all the good luck I can get these days and these were too good to pass up. I thought I would pass these on for anyone else who could use a good luck charm. Silly as it seems I still hold on to the notion of luck. Sometimes it even seems to work for me. Maybe it's all in my head, maybe it's the power of positive thinking. Who really knows, maybe we can talk ourselves out of a situation. It seems we can talk ourselves into one, why not out of it? It always seems easier to fall into a trap than get out of one. It seems we would have to chew our own arm off to get away from something, but that is entirely off the topic of luck. I just wanted to pass along what I perceived as a good luck charm to anyone who may need a bit of luck in their lives. Here is an example, I hope you can find your own luck and maybe I'll find mine. Read more! Read more!

If I Were A Scale And Somebody Has A Weight I Might Just Tip

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I know, I know and if you give a mouse a cookie he may just ask for a glass of milk. If he knew what was good for him he'd ask for a jack and coke, hold the coke. I'm feeling a bit rambunctious tonight does anyone want to throw that extra weight on there? Actually what I was really referring to was the temptation to begin to write about the drama of the celebrity world. I just got through reading the "heart wrenching" saga of Paris Hilton. Which I believe is turning into the longest running soap opera ever. Give me a break seriously. If I even began to start with my life story it would be a hell of a lot more interesting that her little sob story.
Point is I'm just a regular person, but what really is regular? When we are little kids and in school isn't the teacher always telling us that we are special? Aren't out mommies and daddy's telling us that we are special? Granted we aren't abused and we come from decent families. So why is it that when we become adults we have to put with this nonsense that there is a line drawn that seperates people from one another. I fear I am becoming a little idealistic with this post but bear with me. I'm also afraid the inner hippie in me is coming out and I may have to dig out the birkenstocks and tye dye t shirts.
Money is the bottom line, you know that, I know that. Paris Hilton sitting in her cell refusing to eat peas knows that. What do we do with it though? I've been bothered the las couple of days by the fact that there never is enough money, I really should be used to this, but I'm not, maybe I never will be. I don't want to famous, I don't want to be a celebrity. Truthfully, I don't think I even know what I want.
Money cannot buy happiness, it cannot buy love, but it sure can help. It sure cann manipulate and coerce and control people. It drives people, it moves people and it destroys people. Wanting and needing are two different things and I don't know if me or anyone else knows how to differentiate.
I guess that where I was going with all this is that I feel stuck because I don't have everything I want and I don't think its completely due to money or the lack thereof. I like to laugh when someone famous and with a lot of money gets stuck doing something that they can't stand because how many times would I have liked to have had the money to buy my way out of something instead of just having to bite the bullet. Or been able to have something I really wanted or give someone I love something they really wanted.
I don't think there's an answer that will make me happy so I do my best to suck it up and laugh once in awhile cause right its just money and fame and the thought of Paris Hilton in jail is way too good to pass up, way too good! Read more! Read more!

Are Diamond's Really A Girls Best Friend, Only When She's Not The One Losing Her Hand Over It

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I went to an art fair yesterday and I was slightly disappointed. It was the Old Town Art fair in Chicago and I have been going for about six or seven years now. Although this year it was extremely different from all the other years I have been there and I was slightly disappointed. There was lots of expensive art that I could just not get into. I bring this up because the picture on my post is obviously someone's artistic version of a diamond. I have mixed feelings about it. (via highkick)

Diamond's conjure up all sorts of different feelings. The first most obvious feeling I can associate with a diamond is the engagement ring. Most girls wait forever to receive this coveted prize. The bigger the better, at least that's how I think it goes since I haven't put much thought into it. Ok that's a total and blatant lie. I have pictures in my drawer of what I want mine to look like although the prospects of me getting engaged and married are extremely slim to none at this point in time.
The social meaning behind a diamond is very apparent after all a diamond is forever right? Well not in this day and age, what does a diamond really mean anyways? Plus now women are buying their own "right hand" rings taking the association of a diamond away.
Then there's the dark side of the diamond industry. This put chills down my spine when I learned of it. I don't really completely understand everything so I don't want to open my mouth about things I don't completely understand but all I know is that there are people being murdered and abused and all sorts of horrible things under the rule of horrible people all so that we can have our diamonds, something seems right about that to me. No, not seems, I know something is wrong about that.
It makes me not want to promote that industry at all. Yet there's still the allure, it's as if I am so attracted to the bling of a diamond yet I know how corrupt the industry is and how I want to turn a blind eye but I know I can't. Sometimes I wish I was born without a conscience, maybe that's not exactly how I should word it or what exactly I mean but I think anyone reading this would know exactly what I meant by that.
What do you do when you know that horrible things are going on but they are so far out of your grasp that you really cannot do anything to stop them? Do you turn a blind eye, do you walk the other way? It's almost like how do you choose your battles, where do you fight and where do you sit on the sidelines? There's tough questions out there and they don't get easier as you get older I'm learning.
Well those "diamonds" are nice, in a metal kind of way! Maybe I'll stick to those and I don't have to feel any guilt about them. Decisions get tougher and tougher. I don't think I have any answers for anything right now. I just have to keep on letting my brain run and keep on going. That's my thoughts for now. Hopefully I got someone thinking about something. Read more! Read more!

My Good Mood Sunday Morning Sing Along

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It's a beautiful Sunday morning here in Chicago and I wanted to pass on my good mood to everyone, hope you are having a good day!

Happy Sunday Everyone!

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Where Exactly is the Focus?

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As if my mind isn't running on overdrive enough as it is already I am finding my writing has becoming more and more cluttered. I can't seem to find a focus here and my efforts to keep on a topic of interest are becoming less than triumphant. I don't care to write about Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan and I really could care less if they spend the rest of their lives behind bars. I don't want to delve any more into my own personal life but it's as my mind cannot seem to find anything to write of or speak of lately. I'm sure there are some topics out there that interest me but it seems as if I am writing about what I cannot write about which seems horribly boring and mundane. I've really begun to consider if that is just a reflection of my personality. I wonder if I could write sweeping editorials that would wow people, amazing stories about social injustice and political debate but the truth is I can't bring myself to care. The closest I came was my personal account about the homeless man and the wine sampling. For some reason that struck a nerve with me and I was able to be passionate about that. For everything else I seem to lack enthusiasm and truth be told that frightens me, not just a little but a lot, in fact a great big deal. It even keeps me up at night. I've dreamed of being a writer, of having an advice column of writing articles on relationships and being knowledgeable but it seems I can't even seem to find my way on a simple blog. I've been told over and over how well I write but it seems to be that I have fallen into an enormous case of writers block and I cannot seem to dig my way out of it, except to complain like I am doing now. My biggest fear is that I am just plain uninteresting. I want to write things that people find interesting and helpful and can connect with and I just don't see how me talking about my life is at all helpful. So I complain, again, and again and again. Maybe this is some sort of growing experience and I am just not seeing it right now, hopefully that is the case. Any feedback, anybody??? Read more! Read more!